Symmetrical and Systematic

Every December I come home to 16 fake poinsettias, consistently vacuum-patterned carpets, an orderly tree of ornaments (bulbs carefully placed so no colors are repeated within a foot of one another) and three cats sitting in an equilateral triangle.

This year the mantle goes (left to right, as easy as reading): one gold-bowed, green foiled, red leaf dipped-in-yellow-precious-metal poinsettia, two skinny evergreen trees, Christmas bowl, two red tapered candles, one gaudy gold poinsettia, one silver Christmas tree, poinsettia wreathe above santa-in-the-fireplace, one silver Christmas tree, one gaudy gold poinsettia, two skinny evergreen trees, a Christmas nutcracker, three metal cup trees, one gold-bowed, green foiled, red leaf dipped-in-yellow-precious-metal poinsettia. A fake skinny garland snakes through the things.

Mom skewed this year: there are three of something on one side and pairs on the other. She’s getting risky, drinking Carolan's on ice and mixing up the symmetry. But below the stocking is a stuffed Santa with two stuffed reindeer facing inward, with two poinsettias in similar baskets flanking them. Red and green everything, even the plaid couches, plus blue of course. We haven’t had a different colored Van since I was eight.

I wonder if she meant the pictures to the right of the deck door to be set up that way: Jackie, Meghann/Jackie picture, Meghann. I think, mathematically, methodically, symmetrically, and make-sensibly, it would look more mom-like with my senior picture on the left, then Meghann/Jackie, then Jackie. For one, my picture is looking off into the distant left. For two, having the girls flank their respective sides of the central photo would indicate which is which in the middle.

On the other side of the deck door, there is a block shelf chock full of San Francisco-esque houses - looks like the hill of Full House. Where a townhouse wouldn’t fit, mom placed a snowman, a lamppost or an evergreen tree. She hid the huge speakers for Patrick on the backside of the tree because it doesn’t look even with the DVD shaped scatter of all the other presents. There are holiday throw pillows with mistletoe and snowmen, button trees and suddenly, out of no where, dad’s blue bed pillow for comfort. I am surprised it wasn’t placed back in its place after last night’s movie time. Everything is always in its correct bin, Tupperwear, shelf, drawer or compartment. Laundry every day. Fudge in plastic tins and cookies in the freezer. Haystacks and trail mix. Plenty of milk and French Vanilla flavored coffee. This year, two bottles of Kahlua and Café mixer. Never much alcohol lying around, just coffee mixers. This year, we’re mixing it up.

Even carefully proportioned people and purposeful systems need a surprising element tossed in every now & again.