This surge of warmth
quickly develops in my throat up
to the back of my eyes
and a response of passionate
attention suddenly
cramps my mind
into a little corner
where all my thoughts are
disagreeably focused
on a sweeping past, overwhelming
despondency which I felt
I had conquered and killed already
but I am poignantly reminded
that it’s still hear
and it’s real and I’m weak
and I want to scream out a lie
to make you feel bad
to make you feel as I do, to put you on my
level and lie that I don’t need you
lie that you have lost me
lie that I am gone and you missed you’re chance
with the best thing that would ever
happen to you.
But I can’t, just like
I can’t
have you.
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